Sunday, September 27, 2009

Day 19!!!

WOW Day 19 was a GREAT one! The hubby and I went to San Diego to the Love and Respect conference. Wish I could post photos of our time in San Diego but somehow I managed to take my camera and then never snapped one picture! :( Anyhow, I only found out about this conference because of some very special people in our lives. Not only did they tell us about it but they actually took care of all the arrangements including paying for it. What a gift!

"Thank you" will NEVER quite be enough.

The message at the conference was a little obvious once you hear it out loud. It's almost silly that we don't realize most of this on our own. In fact before we went, I really thought to myself "This is going to be great! The hubby is going to LEARN SO MUCH" Little did I know I hadn't been doing my part very well either. You know, one of those situations where you can CLEARLY see what someone else is doing wrong- not so easy to see your own mistakes. Can you say EYE OPENING?

This quest or challenge started out as a way of me becoming a "sane" mother and not giving my children any hang ups. It's since turned into a full fledged life make over with a little marriage enhancement as well. Not a bad thing at all. It's amazing how the road to major changes really just begins with one small step. Before you know it your jogging. Not quite the jogging where you can carry on a conversation and your breathing is smooth. More like the one where you feel like you might puke and pass out at the same time but JOGGING nonetheless. ;)

Day 19's inspiration word is.....
Definition: Having or showing great power, skill, strength, or force.
I WILL do everything in my power to be a better Me, Mother, Wife and Friend.
I WILL have the strength to make the changes necessary.
I WILL force myself to move forward everyday because.....

We got home late from the conference last night. My son had stayed the night at his friends. When they brought him home we started talking of course about the conference, our lives and our children. I won't go into every detail but we all know how a Fathers parenting differs from a Mothers. (Sasha, you'll appreciate this one) So somehow we started talking about my progress in "letting go" of fear and allowing my son to venture around the corner by himself on the bike. Well the Father of my sons friend decides to tell me how responsible our boys are and how he let them walk from their home to the local CVS to purchase a drink SEVERAL months back!!!!!! Ok ladies I have to admit my insides flopped. I think my lungs were at my knee caps and my heart was in my big toe. By now- you all know how my mind works and I couldn't even process my own fears and thoughts as fast as they were popping around in my skull. Not to mention it took a moment or two for my organs to find their rightful home in my body. Anyhow, He did say that he walked to the corner (without the boys knowing) and watched them from a distance. I think it took the ringing in my ears about 15 minutes to stop. Once it did stop, I calmly walked into my sons room and said "Soooo you went to the store by yourself? Where you scared? Did it feel strange without an adult?" DETAILS LADIES!! If you have gone or will be going to the Love and Respect conference than you/you'll understand! ;)

Of course it was no big deal to my son. Which tells me my timing is right on in letting go a little. We had a great conversation about it. We talked about his reasons for hiding it from me. Of course he doesn't want his mother to freak out. Who would? So I assured him that from now on he was to never worry about that again. I told him that keeping something from me was the same as lying and that's just not ok. I told him it's good for me to hear these stories cause I can see that he is capable and best of all he made it back safely. I told him these stories help me let go just a little more which is great for both of us! So the good news is I didn't FREAK out (as far as anyone else knows) and I gained a trust with my son that is invaluable. Yes Day 19 was a success!


The Blythe Blog said...

Way to go Ang...I'm just so proud of you! Change is hard, but it really does make our lives better. We are praying for you guys and love the four of you more than you'll ever if you ever need a "pink" conversation, I'M YOUR GIRL!!

Lissa said...

So you went to a love and respect conference? That's so awesome! I'm so glad this is going well for you! I HATE that learning part where your starting to run but ready to puke! but it always gets better if you keep pressing in!